365 WACKY LIMERICKS!
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7. Limericist
There once was a great Limericst
Who'd make poems by making a list.
He'd count out the beat
Of every line's feet
And he'd laugh while clutching his fist.
32. Banana and Mockingbird
There once was a banana who heard
The song of a lonesome mockingbird.
When he had the feeling
He started unpeeling
And divided himself into thirds.
25. Al Gore
Al Gore claims the Earth has a fever
'Cause Ozone Man's a real believer.
"The science is clear,
It's hotter right here!"
and it's killing off frogs and beavers.
37. Google
Of search engines I prefer Google
's Perfect for the thrifty and frugal.
With one click of the mouse
Any jaded old spouse
Can learn how to make Grandma's kugel.
56. Dick Cheney
While out shooting quail on the Quarry
Dick Cheney concocted this story:
"I heard a twig snap
And I cried 'Holy Crap'
And shot my friend, my vision was blorry."
(blurry)
50. Scooter Libby
There once was a Vice Presidential tutor
Who had earned the nickname of Scooter.
Revealed as a crony
With his perjured testimony
His power has finally been neutered.
47. Noblesse Oblige
For a man alone in his niche
Who lunched on a plate of warm quiche.
His low-key demeaner
His only redeemer
And the source of his noblesse oblige.
6. Paris
Poor Paris who's being sent to jail
Has seen Hell with a basket and pail.
Community service
Just makes her nervous
So she'll use all her fame to not fail.
5. Mom
I would write this limerick for Mom
Who was stressed but mostly remained calm.
The things that she did
For each of her kids
Makes me shout out "My Mom's da Bomb!"
45. Tom DeLay
Indicted, the once mighty Hammer,
Replied with a bit of a stammer:
Perhaps meanwhile
I can mug with a smile
To avoid spending time in the slammer.
58. Texas Twilight
Every summer I find that the highlight
Is watching the sky turn to twilight.
The cerulean blues
Are displace by dark hues
While I stare at the star-filled sky night.
4. Paris Hilton
One day the Hilton Hotel's heiress
Showed ID to prove she was Paris.
Six weeks in the pen
Without any men
Or a view with an outside terrace.
31. Reference Librarian
There once was a reference librarian
Who serviced a community agrarian.
Instead of great reads
She handed out seeds
Which could be returned by the buryin'.
