FUNNY TOPICAL LIMERICKS!
By David Kay. © 2007
Contact: davidkaymls at gmail.com
1. TEXAS SUMMER TWILIGHT
Every summer I find that the highlight
Is watching the sky turn to twilight.
The cerulean blues
Are displaced by dark hues
While I stare at the star-filled sky night.
4. GOOGLE
Of the search engines I prefer Google
Perfect for the thrifty and frugal
With one click of a mouse
Any jaded old spouse
Can’t resist making Grandmother’s kugel.
6. SCOOTER
There once was a Vice Presidential tutor
Who had earned the nickname of Scooter
Revealed as a crony
With perjured testimony
His power was finally neutered.
5. KITTY NAMED STRUDEL
There was an wise kitty named Strudel
Who wanted to learn how to doodle
She set up an easel
And scratched out Vin Diesel
With a leash attached to a poodle.
9. Sun7. SELF-PORTRAIT WITH EARS
There once was a great limericist.
Who concluded each day with a word list.
While rapping a rhyme
He'd tap out the time
And end all his poems with a twist.
11. W7. A FEW WORDS FOR PARIS HILTON
A few words of the porno heiress
The one from the Hiltons named Paris.
With her trademark “That’s hot”
She proves that she’s not
Even smart enough to embarrass.
12. T2. ON SITES LIKE MATT DRUDGE'S
On computer networked machines
Those with power, prestige and with means
On sites like Matt Drudge’s
People with grudges
Spend their lives just venting their spleens.
14. M1. RURAL LIBRARIAN
There once was a rural librarian
Who served a community agrarian.
Instead of great reads
She lended out seeds
Which were returned to the ground for the buryin'.
17. THE TRACK AND THE TRAIN
"Behold," said the track to the train.
"Can you tell me if it's looking like rain?
I can't see the sun
Which is really no fun
And the clouds make me want to complain."
25. TV'S OPIATE ADDICTION
The truth of our culture's affliction
Is discovered in its media addiction.
TV's radio waves
Hypnotizes and shaves
As it turns our lives into fiction.
28. THE BIRD AND THE TREE
The bird to the tree one day cried,
“Dear Birch, what will I do when you died?”
As the tree stood ponderingThe bird went wanderingAnd couldn’t find his way back when he tried.
40. SAID JAMES MADISON
“It’s prologue to tragedy or farce,”
Said James Madison, laughing off his arse.
“The less that they know
Allows the media to grow
While knowledge and truth get more sparse.”
3. EDWARD LEAR’S BIRTHDAY
There once was a limericist named Lear
Whose poems were quaint, quirky and queer.
The stories he told
Will never get old
And today he still stands with no peer.
